A Crazy Kinda Love {Inner Beauty Series}
Guest: Kit Hoeck I am a part of a wild and crazy family who love big, talk loud, and who individually wrestles with God’s role in our lives. Early in October I had the privilege of spending a month in Washington helping care for my 92-year-old Grandmother and it was by far one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. During that time, I witnessed beauty and passionate love in a profound, unforgettable way as I watched my mother, brothers, and sister-in-laws tenderly love and care for Grandma and as I witnessed my Grandma face death with dignity and grace. She was a darling woman who had cared unselfishly for her family for countless years. After our Grandfather passed away, she lived alone for more than 30 years in her home until the day she went into the hospital. She rarely complained, loved relentlessly, and laughed easily. Her home was a safe haven for all who entered and the mixture of Tide laundry detergent, Downey fabric softener, and baking … created an enticing aroma I have tried to replicate in my home to this day! She rarely verbally professed her faith and for most of her life seemed to wrestle with her spiritual connection to a loving Savior.
Though her mind remained sharp, her body began to deteriorate and we struggled to keep her comfortable. In a short period of time she went from being able to care for herself to hardly managing simple hygiene or walking from room to room. Once in the hospital, however, she remained compassionate and patient with doctors and nurses and her sense of humor kept us laughing throughout the day. The amazing thing about her attitude was that she was in excruciating pain that became increasingly difficult to manage. As the doctors experimented with combinations of medications in an attempt to keep her comfortable, Grandma began to experience hallucinations and confusion. A member of our family was able to spend nights with her in the hospital and one evening when her mind was extremely troubled, I decided to read scripture out loud to her. When I came to Psalm 23, she began reciting it along with me as I read. It was obvious she had hidden this Psalm in her heart as a young girl. On several occasions she would ask my brothers and me, “What day is it?” She would then say, “Well, honey … you pray for me when you go to church.” I absolutely loved holding Grandma’s soft hand praying with her. One evening when my youngest brother stayed with her, he said she recited Psalm 23 over and over throughout the night. In the end, Grandma was at peace with her loving Savior and understood God’s abounding love for her.
I learned some very valuable lessons from this experience and have come to love my crazy loud family even more. I saw beauty, compassion, patience, love, and understanding in them in ways I have not recognized before. JJ Heller is my “new” favorite singer/songwriter and in her song “What Love Really Means,” she captures the essence of unconditional love … “dear God won’t you please send someone here who will love me for me … not for what I have done or what I will become.” I love that! And I want to be the kind of daughter, wife, sister, mother, and friend who will love like that … here on earth. Because I believe that ultimately God wants us to share His kind of love … a kind of love that shouts, “… I will love you for you, not for what you have done or what you will become, I will love you for you, I will give you the love, the love that you never knew.”
I confess I have let petty differences and misunderstandings stand in the way of loving my family BIG at times. Loving them simply for who they are without expectations of what I think they should become. Through the pain of watching someone I loved dearly walk into the arms of a loving Savior … I have learned a valuable lesson in loving others … with God’s crazy kinda love!
You can personally email Kit at khoeck@suddenlink.net. I hope you will leave her a special comment today- it’s a gift to all bloggers.
