Tuesday Trivia #2
The question for this week’s Tuesday Trivia is something I struggled with my entire adoption process. I worked hard on it everyday, but I made a lot of mistakes, too. Every adoption journey is different, but we all experience one thing in common. All you need to do is watch the short video and share your thoughts in the comments.
Oh Kari,
There is SO MANY of them. I guess for me it was I truly believed the waiting process would go much faster!!! 🙂 I believe every one of us has this imaginary time line and we want everybody else to follow it especially God.
One of the biggest one was that I was set on bringing our baby girl home by certain time and when it did not happen I was so disappointed.
Excepting God timing was a hard one for me
Love, Lenka
After living through the nightmare process of our Vietnam adoption (which had a very, very happy ending), I do not hold on to any expectations except one: God is going to provide what is best for our family and for the child and his/her birth family. Let me tell you why I believe this. We were matched to our baby on January 30, 2008 (three months later than we "expected"). The process in Vietnam was changing, slowing down and it became clear that the program was closing. So, we knew that the soonest we could get our child home was June (another expectation!). But June came and went. By August, I was completely in despair. In early September, we finally got THE email we had been waiting for and we packed our bags, so happy and relieved to be bringing our son home! Even though the wait was WAY longer than we had expected, I realized once we were home that the timing was so perfect! During the extra time we waited, beyond what we had expected, God allowed us to save up enough money that we could pay cash for all of our travel expenses. God's timing also allowed me to take extra time off work since my maternity leave was in the fall and dovetailed with our usual Christmas break. So, as agonizing as it was to wait all that extra time and to have disappointment after disappointment as our expectations were shattered, it was all perfectly in God's hands. Now, we only expect and anticipate God's goodness as we wait on our next child–a baby girl from Ethiopia!
Expectations huh? I had a lot (now that I look back) when we began the process. I assumed we'd be home with our baby in 18 months like promised (26 months later was the reality).
I had expected prompt communication from our agency. I had expected that I'd be more ready to welcome a child. I had expected my heart to be ready and prepared when the call came.
Instead, I had to deal with many false starts along the way. I had to deal with the fact that just like with my bio kids, my adopted daughter has brought out some not so pretty parts of me.
Ah, there are so many things. Good question. Making me think more on this today!
I think my biggest expectation, that was actually an ever changing ordeal in our process, was what I thought our adoption would look like. We "envisioned" an age, a genger, a time, our feelings, a country, a call, an email, etc. While I think it's okay to ponder our adoptions I think it can become an obsession in some ways. An idol if I dare say that. What a balancing act it was for me to enjoy the adoption journey without making it ruler in my life. I always knew when I had made it ruler b/c I began feeling like MY expectations were not being met 🙂