Crazy Guest Blogger – Meeting Birth Family

A note from Kari- This is my dear friend, Juju’s story of meeting her son’s birth families in Ethiopia.  I’m so honored to share her story and give you a peek at her very personal photos of meeting family and spending time in their village a few weeks ago.  xoxo

The Birth Family…what a precious gift they are!!  I love how my agency Wide Horizons for Children really hook up all adoptive families with whatever birth family is available.  I recently returned from Ethiopia and had one of the most amazing experiences with one of my children’s birth grandmother and aunt.  In early March, I felt called to go to Ethiopia, I wasn’t sure why, but I knew that I was supposed to go and see the birth families again.  My friend Emily and I planned a trip- I wasn’t sure what all God had for us, we just knew we where supposed to go.

Wide Horizons helped me set up visits again and the first one was with my first adopted son.  Seeing his aunt again was so amazing- she is so so so shy, but the love I feel for her is like she is my family!  She is my family!  Did I learn more information about our son on this visit- not really, but connecting with her and having her see pictures of our son is priceless.  I was also able to take her practical gifts that hopefully will make her life easier.  Since you can’t give money, what do you bring someone who has given you their greatest gift???  I’m still stuck on that one, but do the best I can.  Do you have any ideas?

The next morning, I went to visit our youngest son’s birth grand mother and aunt, much to my excitement we were able to go to their hut!!!  My dream was coming true!!  We pull into the Chuko village and the roads were very muddy and in four wheel drive we got stuck.  So the social worker says “do you mind walking the last 30 minutes or do you want to turn back”?  Turn back???  I just flew all the way to Ethiopia, hired a driver, drove five hours to meet the social worker and then drove another 1.5 hours to get to Chuko.  No I don’t want to turn back!!! As I start walking down the muddy road- it is like each step is taking me closer to see what Santa has waiting under the tree on Christmas morning!!  I was so awe struck and giddy with excitement I was actually going to the hut of my child’s birth family!!  I was drinking in the scenery and imaging that my son had been on this exact journey before he became ours.  We passed the most amazing waterfall and stream it was absolutely breathtaking.  It was all SO surreal for me, that I had to keep telling myself that I was in Africa exactly where my son’s life began.  What a gift and another piece of the puzzle for him later!  We went up in this clearing and I saw three huts and the last one on the right had our birth grandmother sweeping her dirt floor!!  It was the most beautiful mud hut I have ever seen- yes it looked like all of the others- but this was my families and where my son took his first breath!!!

We were welcomed with open arms to the family and neighbors and went inside the dark hut to visit.  I pulled out a photo album for them of recent pictures of Fikre.  She gasped with delight at couldn’t believe how much he had grown!!  So fun to watch her as see took in the sight of him.  This was her first grandchild and she was the one to name him Fikre which means “my love”!!  I asked her why she picked that name and she said because she loves him!!  WOW!!  How special for him to know how much he is loved by his birth family!!

I was too surreal for me to even shed a tear- that didn’t come until later after I started to process it all!  We had a great visit and we had coffee from their coffee tree next to their hut and food from the fasel banana tree and boiled egg!  God was gracious to my friend Julie and I because we did not get sick from any of the food!!   We took lots of pictures and left the family with gifts too make life a little easier for them.  While I was there I was making a mental list of things that I would bring back when I came next time!  This was the second time for me to visit with the birth grandmother and aunt and each time is more and more special.  I asked if they would ever want to see Fikre and they said “yes very much”!!

Well, one day in the near future this might actually be a reality.  After leaving the family visit I went on to travel to the Dawro zone with “A Glimmer of Hope” and we visited a new medical post, a school, and clean water sites.  That night when I went to sleep, or tried to sleep, GOD was revealing a big part of why I was on this trip.  I left the birth family visit so FULL that anything else I saw was icing on the cake for me, or so I thought.  I am a very visual learner…remember the amazing waterfall and stream I crossed over on my way to the mud hut???!!!  Guess what???  For approximately around $7,000.00 my son’s village can have clean water!!!  Yup- this is what I am to do!!  Since I have been home from my trip what I feel God is having me do will not stop with clean water, but to help add medical post and a school.  Then I’m sure after this I will want to move on to Geremew’s village.  When I was in the hut with the family, I had asked about Fikre’s mom and how she passed away.  I could tell that it was very hard for them to talk about.  I can’t imagine losing one of my children and then having to give up my only grandchild because I couldn’t care for him.  Ugh!!  This breaks my heart; I know how much joy my family has because Fikre is in our lives.  This is why I’m so excited to take my whole family back next June and open a clean water project and it will be named after Fikre’s birth mom!  I hope this brings a little healing back to this family and makes one positive thing from her death.  Can’t you see the pictures I will now have for my son of him and his birth family with our whole family dedicating this water in honor of his birth mom?  Wow I get chills just thinking about it!!

Earlier I asked “What do you give to a family that has given you your son?”  I hope this shows them how much GOD and my family loves them!!  Everyday since I was there I have been praising God for letting me be apart of this amazing journey, and that when He whispered “go to Ethiopia” and I did!!  There are a million reasons why I shouldn’t have gone (I’m a mom to 5) but obeying God’s calling trumps all!!

If you would like to be apart of helping financially get Ethiopia more clean water, schools, and medical post you can contact me at jujuneal@gmail.com

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Julie Neal
CEO of the Neal household
www.ethiopianjournies.blogspot.com