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  1. I love it! Thank you for sharing your heart. People think my husband and I are crazy too…that we live in a 2 bedroom home and are adopting and will be a family of 4. It's unheard of for two kids to share a room. That we don't have piles saved up but God has always provided for every need even though we had no idea how! I kinda like being the crazy family member! 🙂

  2. Wow, your bit on lukewarmness made a really godo point. Isn't it interesting how easy it is to lose the heat and become lukewarm? I am so inspired when I read stories like yours, keep resisting the North American status quo! Thanks for encouraging us to do the same.

    Michelle

  3. Love this post! Thanks for sharing Vanessa! We've heard more than a few times that adopting ( to add to the 3 we already have) wouldn't be "fair" because we can't provide a college fund for the 3 we have not to mention more. As if that even matters!

  4. I guess I have seen the other side of this first hand. We have relatives that have 2 biological children, then adopted a little boy from Africa with some obvious physical handicaps. They had no 'emergency fund' or any savings set aside after the adoption. In about 2 months, the father (sole breadwinner) was fired from his job. They have found that the little boy has other health issues (no surprise to anyone but themselves) and they can't afford it. So, they're asking a few relatives for loans, etc. (Relying on the people who DO have savings accounts and emergency funds). Frankly, I don't believe that's right either. (Neither borrower nor lender be…) There has to be some BALANCE, IMHO.

  5. To Anon, that is a situation that can occur regardless of if the child is adopted or not. People loose their jobs everyday, children get sick, etc its part of life unfortunately. There is nothing wrong with putting money into savings, and being responsible parents. As stated in my post, we have a saving account. The problem comes when *that* becomes more important then stepping out to do the work we as Christians are called to- when we refuse to step out of our comfort zone. Hope that helps clarify.

  6. I guess I misunderstood the comments, "Our money can sit in a bank waiting for some emergency or it can become life in in the form of a laughing, cuddling, child." And all the references to being "lukewarm" when I believe people also need to be wise and take care of their families (both biblical concepts). Yes, people can have unplanned circumstances regardless if they've adopted or not (obviously), but what I don't agree with is people a)judging Christians with money as "lukewarm" (hopefully that wasn't your intent by all those references??) and b) relying on the "lukewarm" Christians with emergency funds/savings as their bailout plan for what in reality is lack of planning/taking responsibility/wisdom. Yes, we do need to step out of our comfort zone, and we need to be "wise as serpents and gentle as doves."

    I'm really not trying to be difficult. It really is a hot topic for me right now as we are the "planful" Christians and we have been judged so harshly that maybe I'm just hypersensitive on this issue.

  7. The quote "Our money can sit in a bank waiting for some emergency or it can become life in in the form of a laughing, cuddling, child" refers to God's call on our life to adopt a child. That money can sit in an emergency fund, or can be used to redeem a child's life. That doesn't mean that we will not work to continue to save money, it just means that if God calls you to something, wanting _____ (an emergency fund, whatever) really doesn't cut it. To be honest, I would agree that you are just hyper sensitive. No where did I say nor do I judge Christians with money as “lukewarm”. I happen to have some extremely wealthy family members who are the most on fire for God and who ask "how much do we need to keep?" when giving, rather than "how much do we have to give?". Which, in essence, is exactly my point. Some books that deal with this topic and that I would recommend, are The Hole in Our Gospel by Richard Sterns, and Radical by David Platt. They are much better with words than I will ever be 🙂

  8. This will be my last comment as I don't want to spend any more time on this.

    “Our money can sit in a bank waiting for some emergency or it can become life in in the form of a laughing, cuddling, child” refers to God’s call on our life to adopt a child. That money can sit in an emergency fund, or can be used to redeem a child’s life." True, but don't rely on the emergency funds/finances of other people if an emergency comes your way & you're not prepared as that's hypocritical. (If there's one point I want you to get, this is it!)

    I agree we need to give abundantly, but we also need to be wise stewards. At some point, we're not helping anyone (in this case the adopted child) if an emergency comes and we can't afford a home, food or medical care.

    "To be honest, I would agree that you are just hyper sensitive." I admitted that that may be true (though my husband disagrees that it is true which tells me a LOT); however, I don't think you have enough information from 2 paragraphs of comments from someone you have never met to agree or disagree or make that judgement (and yes, it is a judgemental statement).

    Dave Ramsey is also a great author and I would recommend his books to you.

    Though I obviously disagree with you on many points (too many to get into here), I do wish you well in your journey of adoption.

    1. First, after this many comments can't you do away with the Anon posting? That is so silly!

      Second, your comment of "but don’t rely on the emergency funds/finances of other people if an emergency comes your way & you’re not prepared as that’s hypocritical"

      Don't worry, we won't 🙂

      Its kind of weird that you would get so defensive about a person posting their own thoughts about their personal journey to something God called them to do. I don't know, I do find it interesting that you would react this way! I wish you the best though.

      1. I agree with Vanessa, as Francis Chan in his book Crazy Love said:

        "I wrote this book because much of our talk doesn't match our lives. We say things like, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me," and "Trust in the Lord with all your heart." Then we live and plan like we don't believe God even exists. We try to set our lives up so everything will be fine even if God doesn't come through. But true faith means holding nothing back. It means putting every hope in God's fidelity to His promises."

        Anon, add Crazy Love to you reads!

    2. Oh jeez, Anon get off your soapbox, you are totally missing the mark. Way to read someones post with defensive, skewed glasses and then judge them incorrectly.

  9. Vanessa, I love your post and agree whole heartedly. We have two bio kids, one adopted and another in the process of being adopted. We live on one teacher's income and have watched God provide again and again in the form of money for the adoptions and for emergencies as they come up. It is a beautiful thing to watch God fulfill his promises to us.

    I love Chapter Four of Crazy Love. It is not always easy to hear the truth and much harder to obey, but such blessings come from this obedience!

    God bless your family and your adoption process!

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