Home For Adoption
I’ve wanted to share this for quite a long time, but never really had the words to express the change happening in my heart. It’s not easy to share regret. It’s humbling to share failure and loss when a life depends on letting go. I guess I should start at the very beginning. Ten years ago, we lived in a darling country home just perfect for our little family. It had everything I had dreamed for my kids…. white picket fence, huge farm porch, stone fireplace, acres to run and play, as well as a spectacular view of the lake. The price was right. We didn’t feel stretched financially and worked hard to save for family fun.
I don’t exactly know when we got bit by the bug, but we started longing to build our “dream home” closer to town and schools. We researched the best builder, dreamed about the perfect home for our kids, and moved forward with plans to build our future. It was a big stretch financially, but our eyes were fixed on the prize. A 2-story French Country with all the little trimmings. Our builder was indeed amazing, one of a kind Italian stallion. He and his wife put their personal stamp from top to bottom. We fell in love with every cedar beam, knob and light fixture scattered throughout our new home. The most ironic thing, the day before we moved in a couple drove up and offered us cash to buy our home. We declined.
We’ve had the glorious privilege of living in our dream home for almost 9 years. We had no idea God was going to wreck our lives several years ago and ask us to expand our family with adoption. Let me define the word “wreck”. God calls and wrecks everything in our path we think is important and valuable. We did not tumble accidentally into the crazy world of adoption. It was a strong calling and we knew He had big plans for our family. But for certain dreams to come true, sometimes we have to give up dreams. I admit I had all 10 fingers dug in deeply. It was a long, painful, humbling process for me personally to give up my home 4 adoption. I would tell the Lord I would be willing to give up just about anything… just let me keep my home. I was wrecked! I sobbed miserably several months ago, I was so guilty of my wood floors, brass knobs, all the trimmings… how could I have been so selfish. I felt really crushed in spirit and so embarrassed before the Lord. I’m grateful He changed my dreams. Adoption has been the best decision of my life.
God changed the way we wanted to spend our money. We made the decision to sell our home to pay for our adoptions. I will never forget the freedom I felt when the For Sale sign went in the ground. I was free! I just knew that in days our home would sell and we could pay for our adoption, as well as help with other adoptions. It was the perfect miracle plan… Home 4 Adoption! Well, its been almost 2 1/2 years and we have not had a single nibble. The house we gave up for adoption is now the perfect candidate for HDTV’s Unsellables. We feel confused, tired, and stretched. I think the only thing that brings me peace is knowing God just isn’t ready for SOLD to happen. The one thing I learned through our crazy adoption was God’s timing is perfect. He knows what is best for our family. We started the process for adoption #2, but will continue to lean on Him for every penny to bring home our new daughter(s). We will creatively fundraise with boundless energy and renewed strength. I guess in the end, the easy way out was to sell our home.
My heart knows God would not penalize a beautiful orphan due to our financial woes. He will work through our job changes, fears, mistakes. and economy crisis. His power will be revealed each and every time we owe a payment to AWAA.
Please share…I would love to hear your adoption struggles and how you overcame $ fears.
Hey Kari,
I tried to join the YG Moms at home group but haven't heard back from Mel. Would you add me?
Thanks,
Melodie
Oh sweet Kari— I've witnessed how your beautiful home is used for God's glory by your family– and it is such a reflection of who you are! We, too laid our house on the alter for our adoptions over a year ago and God closed every door that we were tempted to walk through. He will be faithful to provide everything you need to bring your precious girls home! Praying for your beautiful family as God continues to use you hold out the Word of life for those who are so very close to His heart! Love you sister!! 🙂
I can't help but say I GET THIS!!! We put our house up for sell to start our second adoption, thinking EXACITALLY what you did. Guess what……Second adoption is done…she's home….we did it on our own with God streching every limb and teaching us how to live MORE and MORE humble than we EVER thought possible. Today it still stands on the market, patiently awaiting the buyer he chooses to purchase it. I have total faith that God will provide to bring your little one home. You have a beautiful family with hearts full of joy. Congrats on your second adoption and blessing to your all!
Bethany
I should introduce myself…I am Rebecca and my husband and I are adopting from Ethiopia. We are waiting and our DTE is 8/7/09. I just wanted to say I will be praying for you! I can relate with financial struggles with adoption. We knew God was calling us to adopt and yet we did not have the money. We had just enough for the first installment. I doubted often but the Lord and my husband's amazing faith kept me going. My husband KNEW God called us to this and would finish it. Through fundraising, penny pinching like never before, and my husband's job where he gets commission we have always had the right amount at the right time.
My husband got one big deal at his job that paid for more than half the adoption!! My mouth dropped and so did my knees…God will finish it!! Before this the biggest deal my husband had recieved in the 7 years he has worked at this job was only 20% of that big deal. GOD IS GOOD!! God bless you and your family!
Kari.
Thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing your heart with honesty and humility. Please be encouraged for you have been an encouragement to so many. Your story was one of the first ones that drew up into the world of adoption from ET. We are still so very early in the process so I don't have any super fundraising ideas for you. I think God is using people like you and me as an examply of fully trusting in Him to provide e.v.e.r.y. p.e.n.n.y. He will call many to adopt and people like you are paving the road on this journey…His journey demonstrating His faithfulness. And for that purpose alone…you and I must be okay with the hard way. . It is hard. Very hard. No one said Gospel walk is easy. We are often viewed by others as "rescueing" an orphan, when in actuality, we are the ones being resuced from so much more….ie: fingers dug in deep. My fingers have scars on them as well. So of course we pray for your house to sell. And in His perfect timing it will. But I pray even more for Him to continually "rescue" us as we follow Him. (((Hugs)))
I was just talking to my kids about you guys last night. I told them about Roger's inspiration for the marathon. The kids were saying how lucky Zoie is to be in your incredible family! Can't wait to meet your new girls – Can you believe you have daughters(maybe even sons – you never know what God has in mind) somewhere out there that you haven't met? Isn't God Great!!
I have witnessed some great transformations in your faith. God is busting your world wide open and I can't wait to see what happens next!!!
Love you, friend!!!
I have blogged a time or two about how God is Wrecking our lives through adoption. Wrecking in a good way, but that doesn't mean it's easy, or always welcome. I'll pray for you guys! What sacrifice! We may be in your exact shoes someday soon, who knows. God's plans are crazy and unexpected, but SO perfect. We're just hanging on for the ride!
Hey Kari,
God is faithful! We started our journey with little and every time we needed a payment for the adoption God worked it out. It was hard. There were days I thought I might toss my cookies waiting for money to show up somwhere so we could move forward but each time it did. With that said we also couldn't just sit by and wait for it to float in. We gave to receive and we did several fundraisers (even the dreaded garage sales… which I hate with a passion). God helps those who help themselves. You just start walking and He begins to lead. One of the most profound things that was said to me along this journey was this: God can't do anything with a parked car. Don't let fear allow you to stay in park! Put it in drive – move slowly if you have to but at least move so God can begin moving too!! Love you much friend. I sent you an email about coffee or breakfast this week – call me tomorrow!
I understand! God "wrecked" us in a different way….but he still used finances to do it. (Why is that such a common theme? :-)) Here is the whole story, if you're interested:
http://thehowletts5.blogspot.com/2009/03/retreati…
He is such an individual and personal God–He always seems to know just how to move us and work on our hearts and redeem us and glorify Himself as He uses us. I'm certain the Father is very pleased with your hearts, and your willingness to wait on Him for whatever comes next in your lives.
God's best blessings to you and all of yours!
Lory
Lory
Oh Kari…this could have been written by me! We built our home-it took 18 months, an architect and a wonderful builder and 99% of my time (while taking care of two children ;). I look around and see myself and each one of our family members represented in the details. Our home is also for sale. We have had 20 agents come see it since the third week of May only one prospective buyer. No one has a buyer right now. But as a believer, I sense, like you, that God is not ready for a buyer. He is at work in our hearts and minds. He is opening our eyes even more. We feel called to adopt from ET, which was no where on our radar until after we cleaned up, cleared out, and prepared our home for sale. In our obedience, he revealed a hunger and a yearning and revealed our calling to care for the least of these. We are eager to sell our home (and find a small property where we can have some hens, a silly clothesline, and maybe a pony for our horse-loving girls!) but more than any of that, we are eager to live out His plan for us. Congratulations on your newest leap of faith….step out there girl!!
Michele and all the other wonderful kind words… you have touched my heart. I've wept reading all your comments and stories of sacrifice and waiting on the Lord. I feel like we belong to a special club:) Thank you for renewing my spirit and encouraging my heart when I feel discouraged about the house not selling. I feel so weary, but grateful to have a house to serve the Lord day & night. I'll keep you updated… please feel free to email me anytime! Love you bloggy friends!
Kari- I love how you are so honest and willing to share your heart. We almost didn't start the adoption because we were worried about how to pay for it. Finally we just filled out the paperwork and mailed it in. When we were accepted we just looked at each other and were like now what. We asked each of our parents to borrow 1/2 of the first payment. Both of them saying we don't want paid back, this is for the baby. THen when the next payment was due we needed 300 dollars more and it showed up in the mail. We are officially waiting for a court date and we have paid almost all of our adoption expenses in cash. We even went through 6 months were mark was laid off at the beginning of this year and were never worried about payments. God is amazing and does amazing things for those who turn to Him! We just never gave up faith or trust! God can and will perform miracles!!!!!
Lisa Heddleson
Oh, boy — do I understand!! We finally sold our home in MO back in May. And do you know the first thing we did? Look at a new construction home here in AL. Homes are my weakness, too! However, through much prayer & counsel we've decided to not only NOT purchase a new construction home (that we CANNOT afford), but we are not purchasing a home at all. For us, it came down to this: a 2nd adoption, OR, buying a house. Oh, I cannot tell you the freedom we feel (and the freedom that we actually have) in this decision.
Praying that you sell that house!!! Maybe it's not the selling fo your house that God is lingering with…maybe He's still revealing where you will live next. Are you ready for that?? Might not be what you think…actually, it will be even better!!
Grace!!
Alisa, I sure do love you sister! I'm sooo happy you sold your home! I know exactly how you feel:) We are so excited to RENT!!! You're so right… God has whispered many times in my heart that He's just not finished letting us know what He wants us to do next. We had noooo idea 8 years ago we wanted to adopt & if we had sold our home who knows what would have happened! Thanks for the kind reminder to keep waiting on the Lord! xoxo
I love your heart Kari! I have been keeping up on your blog but not commenting for a long time! Thank you for your honest words about your heart journey on this crazy road!!! You are encouragement to me and SO MANY others! I am praying today for special encouragement and vision for your family regarding your home and also adoption #2!!! We are going to be heading into adoption #2 soon also…it is exciting to be a part of this "special group" as you said – we are in this together trusting the LORD for financial miracles so He can accomplish more miracles of ADOPTION!
with love ~Anna
We decided months ago to sell our house, I too had issues of 'letting go'. It was my dream home, everything I'd ever hoped for, everything I never dreamed would be possible for us to have. We decided to downsize and save money to be able to do things with our family on a more regular basis. I secretly long to adopt and am just waiting for the Lord to lead us in the direction he wants. We found a house that we loved, and agreed to buy with the sale of our own home.
Last week while standing in line for a parade with our float advocating for adoption my realtor is the next float behind ours. She ask what our 'group' was because she just couldn't make the connection between myself and the other women in my group that had adopted. I expressed my desire to adopt and how we were advocating for orphans and adoption and encouraging and educating others in the process. She said, "maybe you just better keep your house! You're gonna need one that big if you're gonna fill it with children!". Ironically, the house we wanted to buy, has had another buyer come along. Coincidence? I don't know…. I'm anxious to find out.
All in good time…. all in God's time. Congratulations on your 'release' of the hold your house had. I know how liberating that can be. Congratulations on your new adoption! Joyfully watching your new story unfold. God Bless!
I LOVE your heart! I LOVE how you strive to follow the Lord. I LOVE how your life inspires mine!
For us it was a little different. We're military and instead of already having our dream home it's still been a dream, "When will we have it?" We are fully committe to our adoption and cannot wait to have our Little Miss home, but part of me still wonders sometime if I will ever have a true home again, if my children will have roots, if they will be able to say "I'm from XYZ". It turns out that my heart has to rest in God, my children are a gift FROM God, and their roots are anchored deep in the heart of God. It can be so hard to rest sometimes though.
Dearest Kari,
The Lord already knows the day and time that buyer will walk into and fall in love with your home. Can't wait to see who He brings – only then will this crazy long wait make sense. In the mean time, remember that those who love your sweet family are praying for you! Perhaps you should put a sign next to your realtor's sign that reads "Home 4 Adoption." I love you and your crazy life! Sue Bee
Hi Kari,
I Just loved reading your post and want to encourage you that God will provide. We came home with our son in October 2009, (also from AWAA). Our process was only 9 months long and we started with only a couple thousand dollars. We trusted God to provide and days before payments would be due the money wouldn't be there. We just kept praying and every time a payment was due the money was all there. It is unexplainable in the world's standards but truly money fell from heaven. I am telling you it came from everywhere, from the LORD! On a combined income of less than $80,000, a tiny apartment, a few thousand in savings and a lot of faith in God brought our son home! He will bring your children home too! I love Romans 4:20-21, I clung to this for Talo's adoption and will cling to it for our next one. May God richly provide for you!
Good day, I simply hopped over in your website by the use of StumbleUpon. Not something I’d usually read, but I preferred your emotions none the less. Thank you for making something value reading.