Beauty From Ashes
My husband, Joe and I met Kari when she led our first ever mission trip to Uganda and Ethiopia in June 2010 with Visiting Orphans. If you’ve read any of her posts about that trip, you will understand how completely WRECKED we were upon returning home. Kari shared our testimony of how we ended up on the trip here. To say God changed our priorities would be about the 
biggest understatement. EVER. We came home ready to sell everything we had left and move to Africa and just prayed for God to show us where. As a few weeks went by it became clear that His answer was, “Wait.” And about 3 weeks after returning home, we got the call from Visiting Orphans asking us to lead a trip back to Uganda in June of 2011. We are excitedly gearing up to lead our 2nd trip to Uganda and our first trip back to Ethiopia since going with Kari! And this year, at least one of our own kids will be joining us! God has blessed us in so many ways in these trips and we have made lifelong friends on them that share our love for the least of these. I can’t say enough about how God showed us things about Himself and His love for His people, and about ourselves and what He can really do in us and through when we TOTALLY surrender our lives to Him. If you are even so much as thinking you might consider going on a short term trip, pray and ask for confirmation, then just go. Seriously, don’t wait for everything to fall in place- if He wants you to go, He will take care of the details.
biggest understatement. EVER. We came home ready to sell everything we had left and move to Africa and just prayed for God to show us where. As a few weeks went by it became clear that His answer was, “Wait.” And about 3 weeks after returning home, we got the call from Visiting Orphans asking us to lead a trip back to Uganda in June of 2011. We are excitedly gearing up to lead our 2nd trip to Uganda and our first trip back to Ethiopia since going with Kari! And this year, at least one of our own kids will be joining us! God has blessed us in so many ways in these trips and we have made lifelong friends on them that share our love for the least of these. I can’t say enough about how God showed us things about Himself and His love for His people, and about ourselves and what He can really do in us and through when we TOTALLY surrender our lives to Him. If you are even so much as thinking you might consider going on a short term trip, pray and ask for confirmation, then just go. Seriously, don’t wait for everything to fall in place- if He wants you to go, He will take care of the details. Before we went on our first trip, God had begun putting adoption on my heart. Joe wasn’t quite on the same page as I was, though. He was open to the idea, but not ready to jump in. International adoption, specifically Ethiopia, had been where I envisioned it happening, but as we know, God’s desires for our hearts are often much different and even grander than we could imagine. Most of my friends, and even myself, if I am honest, figured I would meet a child on the first trip that would steal my heart and we would come back and start the adoption process right then. But as much as we were moved to help the kids we met on that trip, adopting one of them never even came to mind. It was very clear that wasn’t why God took us to Africa.
It was about 3 months after returning home that HIS plan for us and adoption came to light for us. On Orphan Sunday of 2010, God prompted me to check out a website, www.adoptUSkids.org. I say, He prompted me, because honestly, adopting from foster care wasn’t just something I wasn’t interested in- I was pretty sure I didn’t have what it would take to “deal” with the system and all that comes with adopting a child from it. But then I saw them. Four siblings. In my state. Precious. Away from their parents. And most tragically to me at that moment…away from each other. They were all in separate foster homes. Instantly, my mind thought of my own 3 biological kids and how despite their typical arguments and fights, how only being able to see each other once a month would DESTROY them. And just like that, God broke my heart for what breaks His. I started praying for them. I told Joe about them. He laughed at me- you know, the, “you are OUT of your mind for even bringing up adopting 2 kids, much less 4!” laugh. But I couldn’t stop thinking about them. Praying for them to find a family. Praying that God would allow us to be their family. That He would open Joe’s heart to the idea. About a week later, I had my answer when I sat in bed crying. Not being able to let go of it. I told Joe my feelings and he said, “okay, let’s see what we can do.”
Friends, God had moved not just a mountain, but a WHOLE STINKING RANGE!
The weekend after Thanksgiving of 2011, we started the process to adopt through foster care in our home state of Oklahoma. We applied to welcome up to FOUR (yup… not just 2) children, our hope being to prevent children from losing their sibling relationship
in addition to everything else they lose when in the system. We weren’t anywhere sure we could do it, but the one thing we were certain of was our God was more than capable, and would use us as HE saw fit. A few months along into the process, we learned that the original sibling group I saw was no longer in need of a family- but man, did they have an army of prayer warriors lifting them up! We grew more determined than ever to let God design our family. There were lots of days of frustration and impatience and just being, “ready to do this!” But God used those months to grow us and prepare us for what He had planned, and looking back I am so in awe at how He put the pieces together.
in addition to everything else they lose when in the system. We weren’t anywhere sure we could do it, but the one thing we were certain of was our God was more than capable, and would use us as HE saw fit. A few months along into the process, we learned that the original sibling group I saw was no longer in need of a family- but man, did they have an army of prayer warriors lifting them up! We grew more determined than ever to let God design our family. There were lots of days of frustration and impatience and just being, “ready to do this!” But God used those months to grow us and prepare us for what He had planned, and looking back I am so in awe at how He put the pieces together. On December 21st, we brought home what we hope to be our forever children. (In Oklahoma, there is a 6 month trial adoption time where the child/ren live in the home before the adoption is finalized.) We welcomed a 10 year old daughter and her three older brothers, ages 11, 15 and 16. They were very close to being split up in order to make them “more adoptable.” But our God had different plans. It hasn’t been easy. At all. There are good days and bad days, but more and more that is changing into good days with a few rough hours. There are cultural differences that are ginormous. But our God is more ginormous. Mostly, what I am seeing is that God can use ANYONE to do ANYTHING He wants them to do- all we have to do is let Him. I have never loved my husband more. I could have NEVER imagined him leading me and our family the way he is right now. And I have NEVER been more excited and less worried about what tomorrow holds because, y’all I can look back at the last 2 years and know, I mean KNOW God will show us the way through anything.
Here is one of my most recent posts from our blog that gives a real peek into the reality of the difficulties faced when bringing children into your home, but also the mercies and gifts God shows on even the darkest days.
BEAUTY FROM ASHES
Yesterday was hard.
I overslept, didn’t get up and at ’em like I had wanted to.
And another fun evening of playing with the bigger-and-stronger than me kids left me with a pinch in my back. Plus, and I realize how stupid and trivial and completely of-this-world I will sound for saying this, but… It was the first day of a 21 day fast from Facebook. So, yes, I was a bit irritable. Justifiable? no… but, just being honest.
Several of the kiddos were up too late the night before in a cram-in-as-much-fun-as-we-can-
So anyway, it was one of those “resolve one issue with one set of kids then turn around, take a sip of coffee and start working on the next” kind of days, with a lot of, ” I don’t want to move!” and, “you can’t take away my stuff,” thrown in for good measure. And that’s just the stuff I feel comfortable sharing. There’s lots more that is too sensitive to tell. Hard stuff that comes with living in the system for over 10 years.
Let’s just say that by about 2 pm I actually texted Joe and said I might need him to come home. By this time, my head was pounding and at least 3 kids were so angry/upset with me they weren’t speaking to me. (Normally I wouldn’t mind the quiet that creates, but this time it was more than I thought I could handle alone.) Lo and behold, in walks a friend just stopping by to say hello. (J- you have NO idea how much of a gift from God you were yesterday!)
And just like that, the cloud started lifting. My spirit was refreshed and the cloud. started. lifting…laughter came back and siblings were friends again.
Dinner brought a prayer from one of the older boys, thanking God for the day we had- even though it had ups and downs and asking Him to bless our family and help us become closer…
and then…
and then…
we went to “hang out” with the older boys at bedtime. Just relax with them. Chat. And the conversation centered mostly on how important it is that we all just KEEP TALKING… and ended up touching again on how our family standards are meant to help keep us all under God’s authority.
And then…
the same man-child, who was perhaps the angriest at me of them all that afternoon, stopped rocking in his chair. Sat straight up and said that he wanted to say something.
Manna…
“Before I knew about all this adoption stuff or that it was even going on, I asked God to help me in my walk. You know, be closer to Christ and stuff. Whoa… You know what? I think that’s what this is right here…being here!”
Amen.
Read more about this amazing family adventure on their Blog- Give. Share. Serve.
Thank you for sharing this. We were recently (yesterday) approached about a sibling set of 7. We were offered 5 or 7. I always thought we’d adopt from Uganda or Ethiopia, though I’ve wanted to adopt from foster care in the past. (I grew up in foster care as a child) I honestly just figured I’d have to wait until my children were fully grown. I concentrated more on praying that God would provide me children that would otherwise die without our help. Typically that isn’t children here in the states. Instead we may adopt after all from the states. It sounds a bit crazy. We have 5 children. They are still very young. We’d have anywhere from 10 -12 children if we decided to adopt all of them. All would be either under 10 or under 12. The bio mom has a new baby every year and I am usually pregnant by this time as well. I ask myself, can I handle this? Am I CRAZY? One child would be older than my two olders and we’ve always agreed as a couple that we wouldn’t displace the birth order. I wonder how this will effect my chidlren. Will all this attention divided harm my children? I am praying for clear direction Not my will but thine Lord. I pray if we do this that the body of Christ steps up and assist us in some manner. I pray for the mother who is about to lose what she may not realize is the most important hting to her in the world. I pray for children who, if things don’t work out in the next month in a half will feel completely abandoned once the TPR takes place. Ahhh but I have prayed long and hard for years to keep siblings togetehr. My daughter has prayed daily for several years for a sister. She may well soon have FIVE! Praying for you. Praying for us also. Blessed mom of 5
Man, Carrie, I hate crying my computer, but here I am with tears in my eyes. So proud of you guys and it is so fun to watch God work this miracle in your lives. Can’t wait to get our kiddos together!!